Why they say a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing
You don’t have to know a lot about football to see why the beautiful game holds billions in its thrall, writes Michael Blucher.
“Let me just say, I know nothing about soccer but…”
Have you noticed? Every article written by some “once in every four year expert” begins in roughly the same manner – a quick disclaimer, declaring that they’re an outsider looking in.
There’s good reason for this – it’s the required entry ticket for intruders wanting to join the party, if only to tell the true football fans that the party sucks, and they’re wasting their time being there.
Peter Fitz copped it, didn’t he? Even though he’d led off cautiously with the bankable “Let me just say upfront” trump card. Fitz cops it a lot these days. I guess that’s inevitable when you have so many opinions about so many subjects.
But back to the beautiful game, which IMHO, is beautiful, even if the strategic nuance escapes me.
How could it not escape me? With the exception of one torturous season supporting the Taringa Rovers under 6 “Harlequins”, watching some kid called Jayden (still today the name haunts me) score all but three of the team’s 88 goals for the season, the nearest I ever came to embracing soccer was during my two years living in London, following the fluctuating fortunes of my local team, QPR.
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In true young Aussie abroad spirit, that was less about football and was more about frequenting the pubs around Loftus Rd – The Brew Dog, The Defectors Weld, The Shepherd and Flock – is it wrong that I still remember the names?
But through the winter months, I’d happily tag along with my English mate Tony, who enjoyed notoriety among his peers for routinely wearing the same clothes seven days in succession. The suspicion was he even wore them to bed. Curious breed, the English.
Perhaps it was the four pints of Tetleys Bitter that Smelly Tony and I routinely swamped down pre-match, but there did seem to be a fair bit of faffing around, once the game began.
In the other football codes, your team is either attacking or defending. In football there’s the in-between stuff – the back and across and over and in and up and back … then Oops – lost it! Other team’s turn.
But skilful and fast paced? No question. Factor in the colour and excitement of having 32 of the world’s best soccer-playing countries, huddled together in the one place – particularly a tourist mecca like Qatar – and there’s your party right there. Ticket please!
A few more specific reasons to embrace the World Cup – first up, the pure passion the tournament generates. Have you ever seen so many camera close ups of people in the crowd, clasping their hands together, as if they are praying? They probably are – it’s not like they’ve had the opportunity to hold a beer cup. But the raw emotion, the contrast in the fans’ faces – those leading vs those losing -it’s something to behold. A goal down, time ticking away, not even Collingwood supporters look that aggrieved, down four goals to arch enemy Carlton in the final quarter. For the supporters of every qualifying nation, World Cup games are a religious experience.
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Number two, scale. You can argue the toss as to which is bigger – Olympics or World Cup soccer – but even if it plays second fiddle, the numbers coming out of Qatar are insane. An expected four billion television viewers, 1.5 million tickets sold, revenue approaching $6 billion – think how much the tournament would have generated if those fine FIFA chaps hadn’t yielded to the strict local “guidelines” relating to alcohol? In true FIFA style, AFTER they’d pocketed Budweiser’s 75 million dollar sponsorship! Not exactly alpine conditions in Qatar, and on the strength of the TV coverage, there are plenty of English supporters on the ground in Doha. And Germans. And Australians. I reckon we have three World Cup Beer Drinking semi finalists in that lot.
Reason No 3 – the unpredictability. As I hope it’s now clear, I know nothing about football but Japan beating Spain, the Socceroos holding out Denmark, Brazil losing to Croatia, South Korea beating Portugal, Saudi Arabia defeating Argentina… I gather a lot that’s happened in the 2022 tournament wasn’t meant to happen.
That’s the true beauty of the beautiful game – on any given day, anybody can beat anybody. A little different from the recent Rugby League World Cup, where most times out of 10, you’d expect the Kangaroos to account for the game’s emerging powerhouses, the likes of Jamaica, Greece and Scotland, to name but a few.
I don’t know much about Rugby League either, but do they even play the game in those countries?
In the case of the beautiful game, there’s close to 200 countries that have a national team, and every four years, each one of them is clamouring for ticket to the “big dance”. And just a reminder who failed to qualify for Qatar – Italy, Chile, Columbia, Sweden, Nigeria… no Jamaican Rugby League teams in that lot.
Yes it’s a beautiful time to be embracing football.
We’re getting to the pointy end of the tournament now – a lot of the big guns have already packed up and gone home, including England, who every four years, seem to have a habit of existing the tournament around this time, in curiously similar circumstances. Good thing the British press are so supportive.
It’s now confirmed as an Argentina v France final – If you’re having a little wager, I suggest dumping a few bucks on France to win 2-1 in the decider.
Or you might sound out somebody who knows what they are talking about.
I’m just there for the party.
