Vain, vain, go away – why it’s quite okay to throw away your old photos
What is there to smile about when someone is taking your picture? Better to be cranky like me, writes Phil Brown
I’m not big on taking selfies. Because as you get older the head tends to get a bit rougher and it’s hard to get the right light and the right angle.
I’ve had my photo snapped at functions and often regretted it because I had my eyes closed, or my mouth open or I looked a bit startled.
I’ve been going through the photos on my phone recently and culling those that aren’t flattering.
Over the years I have interviewed a lot of celebrities and sometimes they are very tricky with photos. They insist either on submitting one that has to be used or, if they are having their photo taken, they insist on approval of said photo. I used to think that was vain and unreasonable but now I can see the wisdom in it.
Yes, it’s about vanity I guess but, as a beautician said to me not that long ago – vanity is sanity. Fair enough.
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Some people put photos of themselves on social media every day, images of themselves grinning like a cheshire cat in all sorts of situations. I’m much more discerning and I won’t post a photo of myself unless I have approved it. For myself. If you get my drift.
I have a few good photos taken by professional snappers that I tend to use and a few taken by my wife that are okay. I’m generally not smiling in any of them.
When I put these photos on Facebook people sometimes chime in and say “smile!” or “why are you looking so sad?” and that is really idiotic. I mean who walks around grinning all day?
Why do you have to fake a smile just because someone is pointing a phone or camera at you?
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I had one taken on the Kowloon waterfront recently with Hong Kong harbour in the background and I’ve been using that a bit. I am not smiling. I prefer to be a bit enigmatic in my photos .
And when people say “smile for the camera!” it tends to have the opposite effect. I become quite grumpy and it’s impossible for me to smile then. I just can’t fake it.
I have been caught off guard, inadvertently smiling in some photos and then people always make a fuss of it … “Oh look, you’re smiling!” Big deal.
People who are always smiling in photos look, frankly, like idiots.
In future I will continue to not smile and I will be very careful about who snaps me under what conditions. I wrote a poem recently that includes the phrase … “in a certain light, I look alright”.
I shun bright lights and try never to look at myself in hotel bathroom mirrors with full fluorescent lighting.
For photos in future I will be seated in a darkened room, I think. There may be some mood lighting, a lamp on dimly in the background, but that’s about it.
I didn’t want to end up on social media looking like that picture of Dorian Gray stashed away in the attic. Or maybe I already do!
